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Here’s to the first article in 2021!

Is it safe to say happy New Year? Heck! Happy New Year! As it is, my year actually began in February. I canceled January because the whole month felt like the 95th day of December 2020. Who can relate?

Anyway, hey you! What’s good? Are you excited for the New Year? Why haven’t I heard you saying that this is your year? Is it 2020? Ah! Don’t sweat it. Let me proclaim it for you. This is your year to be happy, to be loved, to be at peace, to grow, to heal, and to be healthy and safe, to have serious monies, and to achieve things beyond your expectations. It’s only February and I can tell that ‘round hii si mchezo’ and everyone is working towards making their dream a reality. People have hit the ground running and if not, they are busy ‘deep frying’ the best business ideas, negotiating amazing deals, getting their finances in check- all marinated in hot and sweet energy and dressed with tantalizing affirmations. No wonder it’s so hot. At least in Nairobi it is. It’s all exhilarating. In fact, it is quite encouraging to see how hard people are working to bounce back after 2020 happened. Then there’s me.

I was extremely happy to have made it to 2021. At 00:01 A.M. 1st January 2021, I was untouchable. I was on some frequency that only Hertz could explain but as the month unveiled, questions that have never seemed to really bother me became my worst daydream. I would have preferred a nightmare but damn it, the nights are too short to do anything else but sleep. 

There I was doing my exams trying to answer questions that I’m so sure even the lecturers never knew existed. As if that was not enough, I formulated my own questions and again, I had no answers to them. I couldn’t even boil up some answers. All I needed was water and fire. How hard would boiling be? Argh! I felt stupid. I mean, I couldn’t answer the teacher’s questions and I also couldn’t answer my own questions. So what could I answer? Your phone call? 

I must say these questions hit me hard. There was no ‘sure bet’ question e.g. who was the first black president of the USA? Zote nilikuwa na bahatisha tu. What is my purpose in life? What is this that I have always dreamt of achieving? Am I even living in my wildest dreams? Paulo Coelho says in The Alchemist that ‘everyone, when they are young, knows what their destiny is.’ What in the heavens is my destiny? Does he realize that some of us are ‘Old Macdonalds’? Why would he even say that? What if someone is reading this book at 70 years old and they still don’t know what their destiny is? (Screams) Aaaaa…Eeeee…Iiiii! You know the drill, scream with me. 

I would be lying if I said that I now know the answers to my questions. The lecturer entered the class before I finished copying oops. I realized though that ‘hata kama degree ni harambee wacha ni jitegemee for once’. Currently, I am at the point where I am synthesizing 2020. You might be wondering why I am dwelling in the past. It’s 2021!! Songa na injili. No, no that is not what it is. I learned and unlearnt a whole bunch of things, probably more than I ever learned in my 11,006 years of school (sigh). Consequently, I grew and I am not quite sure what I am supposed to do with my ‘big age’ and with all that I have learned. Apply it alah! Well, I know but let me ask, did you apply the Periodic Table the same day you were taught? You had to make mnemonics, songs, and poems just to remember it but you still managed to forget what the first element was. Was it Hydrogen or Helium? I can see you trying to Google. Shame! shame on you. All I’m trying to say is that it took time for you to apply it, for those who even know how and where to apply it ha-ha. 

Similarly, it is taking time for me to find out what works for me and what doesn’t. I have to filter out all the memes on ‘how to get a degree without studying’ and ‘how to sleep and pass exams’. The best part is that I am more than okay with where I am at the moment. It was a tad bit discouraging at first seeing everyone ‘deep-frying their chicken’ as I ‘shallow fried’ mine for an eternity but I have actually come to learn ‘kutangulia si kufika’. After all, who said deep-fried chicken is the best? Then again, who said shallow fried chicken is the finest? It all depends on the ‘customaa’! KFC, Chicken Inn, kuku ya Fish and Chips ile yakuzunguka – si zote ni kuku?

Quick question: why is it called Fish and Chips? Have you ever actually seen the fish being sold? Also, could we please all agree that KFC chicken is better than the chicken from Chicken Inn?

In case you missed the point of this article, let me highlight it for you: It is quite okay that you haven’t hopped on to the Maserati ride for the ‘New Year new me vibe’, and whenever you’re ready, you can always book yourself a bus/flight/train/scooter/nduthi/tuktuk ticket to that destination. However, if you’re in such a hurry I have ‘rockets for hire’ just contact me and you will be there before NASA knows it. For what it is worth, I don’t think you are late. The year is still early for you to make it rain! The sky is… Please complete that quote for yourself because there are like 67 versions to it. The sky is above the limit, there is no sky…

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24 Comments

  1. Hizi rockets unaongelea nazishuku sana🌚…..lemme just stick to tuktuk nimezoea😂😂😂😂😂

  2. Hizi rockets unaongelea nazishuku sana🌚…..lemme just stick to tuktuk nimezoea😂😂😂😂😂

  3. It’s never too late to start all over again. Lakini hizi rockets unauza…nashuku😂

  4. It’s never too late to start all over again. Lakini hizi rockets unauza…nashuku😂

  5. We just need to be in competition with ourselves and have no specific timelines to things we don’t have control of.

  6. Eugene Muriuki on

    I think bottomline one should just improve on themselves each and everyday you dont have to wait for a year to pass to make resolutions

  7. I thought it was only me that wasn’t on the new year new year vibe. Hearing it from you is so encouraging!!