24th August, 2020 9:38 pm, my last two brain cells texting my friend:
“If I go back to working out, I will lose my ‘kakitambi’ and that would mean going to the tailor to re-adjust my clothes, but I don’t have money to waste around because I have already spent so much money re-adjusting my clothes at the tailors. I know some workouts could tone my body or work on specific body parts but my ‘kakitambi’ will go. I think I will just pass out on that. I mean, do I want abs at the expense of my pocket?”
All my friend could say is, “Really?”
I laughed but the next morning, at about the time I would normally workout, that “really?” hit me such that the energy I was radiating whoosh! KPLC simngekuja mniombe badala ya kuanuaanua stima bure mkiona mawingu tatu?
As far as I know, I had an epiphany. I don’t know if I should really call it an epiphany because it is something I have always known, so I guess it was more of an awakening that, people always make excuses. Everyone does at some point in their lives. But yoh! I might just be the queen of excuses. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying this so that we can compete …Oh you think you’re the queen? Have you met me? I am the knight cum cupbearer cum commander-in-chief. I am also not saying this because I am proud. It is quite the opposite. I am ashamed of saying that this is what has been the trend in my life…
At the beginning of every semester, I plan to be reviewing everything that I have just been taught; but at the end of the lesson, this is what I tell myself…Niko na njaa wacha nikule kwanza alafu nitasoma. I finish the food and when I’m just about to read…Sharks! I’m so full. Let me take a power nap. When I wake up, because I feel unmotivated, I decide to watch an episode of Big Bang Theory. It is six weeks before exams and the excuses don’t stop. I decide not to read because the ‘content will evaporate.’ I choose to gallivant through the semester and it is now one day to exams and I have 8 topics to read for.I don’t know who convinces me to eat and make merry during the day then read at night, because I am almost sure the devil cannot be this malicious. The night comes and I have zero content but I am not panicking about the next day’s paper. In fact, I am only panicking because I expected that I would panic about my exams. I am busy laughing as I peruse the book as if my father is the Sultan of Zanzibar and I am his only rightful heir.
I do my exams but I hate to admit that I would have done better if I had prepared myself way ahead of time. “Don’t worry love. Exams are just papers. They do not define you.” I sympathize with myself.
As if those are not enough excuses for a lifetime, I have the audacity to copy and paste the excuses to every other day. I set the alarm at 6:00 am. Thank heavens I stopped snoozing, but once I wake up and see it’s still dark, I tell myself that it’s too dark so I should just go back to sleep.
I bet this is the narrative to so many of you.
Learn a language- Won’t I forget since I am not going to Japan anytime soon?
Start a business- but I am not business oriented.
Travel- but where will I get the money to travel?
Read a book- but I hate reading. Listen to an audiobook then- my earphones are spoilt.
Join the choir- but I can’t sing as well as Nikita Kering.
Join debate club- but I can’t speak in front of my own family. What about 350 people?
Save your money- What if I die and other people are left enjoying my money?
Ugh! Eat then- okay, I will eat.
When it comes to eating, sleeping or doing things within your comfort zone, we never make excuses. However, when it comes to being the model, make-up artist, rugby player, the guitarist you have always dreamt of being, we are so quick to make excuses. We even make excuses for the ‘small’ things we have always wanted to do like a leg-day workout, climbing Mount Longonot, joining a book club, praying, trying a new recipe, waking up early…
But to be quite honest, I am afraid that all I have written will haunt me in the future; just one instance of making excuses and my friends will not let me sleep. “Do you remember that article you wrote about how we should stop making excuses? Eh? What are you doing now?”
Honestly speaking, I don’t want to preach water and drink Glenfiddich (that’s if I can even afford it).
But for what it’s worth, try, try, try to do whatever it is without letting excuses be the cupbearer of your life.
… you nah mean?